I've Been Stricken
by Syaoron the Fox
Summary: /Listen to Stricken by: Disturbed./ The truth is something so vague.


**Another Tails' suffering one-shot. Please enjoy!**

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><p><em>You walk on like a woman in suffering<em>

_Won't even bother now to tell me why_

_You come alone, letting all of us savor the moment_

_Leaving me broken another time…_

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No, she's no longer here. She's gone on, somewhere I can't follow. I wonder sometimes if she suffered at all when she died. In her passing, she never even told me why it was her duty to sacrifice herself, why it was her life to give away.

I went to her funeral the other day. It really felt like she was there, just for a moment. That one moment felt like forever. It was that last moment I'd get to savor with her before she truly passed. It was after that funeral that I felt like broken, like a glass pane that was shattered into a thousand pieces, to almost dust.

Sometimes I see her image before me. It's her, or at least I think it is, but then I have to realize… it's not the real thing. It's just a figment my mind has made for itself to protect it from the horror of her death. I just wish she would leave me alone. Why can't she just let me be? Will I not find solace in anything?

I guess I just can't let her go.

Is this what it feels like, to be stricken with the fact that I live and she dies? I feel cold, lifeless, as I try to come to terms with reality, but I can't deal with it. I curl up in a corner, attempting to hide, but there's no hope. I can't hide forever.

When one is crippled, do they feel this helpless? Do they feel this vulnerable? If so, I must be crippled.

I run. I don't know what I'm running from. Maybe it's still that figment of my imagination. Maybe I'm still running from the projections my cruel mind makes. Maybe I'm still running from reality. But right now, I can't deal with anything.

Maybe she thought that what she was doing was right. Maybe she thought what she was doing was going to help the world. It's only delaying the inevitable. I don't think she really knows what she's done to me with her sacrifice. She used to think she was helpless.

Now look at me. Look at what her final action, the last of her power, has done to me. It's ripped me apart on the inside, slowly eating away at my sanity.

That is, if it's there anymore.

I wonder if I'll ever come out of this hole I've gotten myself into. Will I ever heal from this incident? Ha; unlikely.

She was my everything. She was practically half of me. When she died half of me died along with her. I can't continue anymore. This has affected me too much. It feels like a war inside of me. No, it's more like a holocaust.

I walk back through my house. Looking around, I see a photo of her. I begin to tear up. Why does her face continue to haunt me, so? I wish I could have some kind of break, maybe just one moment where I can stop thinking about her. Her death was like a blow to my psyche.

It created a gaping hole in the wall of my inner defenses. I feel so easily affected by everything my friends tell me. I feel weaker than I've ever been before.

What else can she take away that she hasn't already?

I grip my chest. It feels empty, like a void, almost. I feel the area of my heart. Unfortunately, I'm still alive. But it's so empty. How could I possibly be alive?

I must be a shell. I've died inside, and that's what matters in the long run.

But for now, I escape. I escape the horror that is reality and the lies that are my thoughts. I run out of my house, I run with no destination in thought. When I open my eyes and stop, I see where I've unconsciously brought myself.

It's her grave.

Even when I try not to, I still think of her.

This is my curse, to be stricken to think of her forever, but to never actually be with her.

But for now, I fully embrace it. Tears flow from my eyes like rivers as I scream into the dark of night.

I live with the reality of the thought.

I'm stricken, and I can't possibly let her go.

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_That I am stricken and can't let you go_

_When the heart is cold, there's no hope, and we know_

_That I am crippled by all that you've done_

_Into the abyss will I run…_


End file.
